Truth or Dare!

Hello there, readers! I hope you've been having a wonderful week!

Today, I wanted to discuss with you the concept of Truth or Dare.

As a child, or even a teenager, a lot of people here in the United States grew up either playing or hearing about who played this time-worn and habitual game.  I, for one, never played Truth or Dare much as a kid, because I always figured I'd end up with Dare because I'm so quiet and reserved and private that I wouldn't want to tell people my business. At the same time, I didn't really want to do anything gross or scary as a kid, either. I was ruled by fears and therefore didn't see the "fun" of the game that others saw.

These days, I know that I have nothing to hide, but at the same time, the concept of Truth or Dare hinges on whether or not we allow others to BREAK our boundaries! It also hinges, in the Dare category, on what we are willing to do to KEEP our Truth hidden! either way, our boundaries are broken.

"Tell me the truth, or else."

"If you omit anything from the story, that is a lie just as much as if you told one."

I don't know about you, but I grew up with these types of statements from a few people in my life. Well-meaning people, I'm sure, but these kinds of comments tell us that one, we don't know what truth is, and two, that to keep anything to ourselves that is private is not okay. In essence, they teach us that it's alright for others to have boundaries, but not us.

No, this isn't intentional, usually. But it happens.

Truth or Dare. Tell me, or else. Don't tell Mom, or else. Do things MY way, or else. You can't trust your gut, trust what I tell you. Don't do as I do, do as I say.

Aren't these ALL mixed messages? Messages that tell us that our privacy has no value, our opinions have no value, our intuition has no value and is wrong, not to trust our feelings or senses, and that others are exceptions to the rule, but we aren't...

The TRUTH is, though, that your privacy matters. It's OKAY to have boundaries as long as the secrets we keep are HEALTHY. If we say "Don't tell so and so" and it's something about what we have been going through, that is one thing. It's fine to share our testimony with someone but not want the whole world, or specific people, to know what it is that we have been through. Not everyone needs to know everything about us!

If we say, "I cut myself," "I have suicidal thoughts" or other harmful things... those DO need to be shared. Those are unhealthy things that we need help with, and asking for help is essential to receiving it in cases where there may be harm to ourselves or others! If you or someone you know has thoughts, has said something, or displayed actions that lead you to think there may be danger to ANYONE, tell someone in authority that you trust. If there isn't anyone who is human that you trust, ASK GOD FOR HELP. Seriously! Ask Him to guide you to the right people for help who will be trustworthy, and ask Him to help you trust them!!

Our opinions matter, too. Again, this is dependent somewhat on context, as privacy is. An opinion that is harmful or disparaging and unhealthy that crosses into another person's boundaries is not OK, but opinions on what you do or don't prefer are perfectly fine. It's alright that your friend adores lemon ice cream, but you prefer chocolate. There is NO need to change who you are or pretend you like lemon if chocolate is what works for you. And if you prefer your mate to have certain characteristics, what do other people's opinions count toward that?

My point about opinions is this: don't Settle for less than what you desire, as long as it is a HEALTHY, or at least, harm-free desire! So what if your neighbor doesn't like your husband's haircut, or your mother doesn't like your dress? If it is truly not hurting YOU, and it isn't hurting ANYONE ELSE, you are the one who lives with it, right?  At the same time, this goes for spouses, also... if your significant other has a preference that you are not comfortable, and that preference is ABOUT YOU... speak up! If you don't believe you can speak up without negative consequences, if you speak up from a place of love and looking to have peace, then perhaps there is something within the relationship that ALSO needs adjusting.

I've been there with the last situation. I get it, the not wanting to always speak up. And to your parent? Sometimes that's even harder than to a spouse! Yet, in order to set yourself FREE from what you might see as the tyranny of others "telling you what to do," if you go with your OWN gut, listen to the Holy Spirit, and step out in courage, and say, "I appreciate that this is your opinion on my ______, but I will have to agree to disagree with you on this area. This is how I see it...." The Bible tells us that the Son will set us free because He is Truth, and when we know the Truth, the Truth will set us free! In order to HAVE that truth settle in our hearts, e must allow the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to us, even as He revealed Jesus, the TRUTH, to us!

Our intuition, also, has its place. People sometimes tell us not to feel, not to think, not to act in certain ways that we sense or intuit we should. Sometimes this is ingrained behavior in disguise, and sometimes it really IS intuition speaking. More importantly, sometimes the Holy Spirit SPEAKS to us THROUGH our intuition. We don't always know at the time which voice is speaking; it takes practice to know if the intuition we have received is coming from within us, as flesh, or within us, as the Spirit of God Who resides there, if we are followers of Christ. We can ask Him to help us realize the difference; to discern which is which. And if intuition says one thing, and the Spirit of God another, ALWAYS go with the Spirit! Other people's OPINIONS about what we "should" think, feel, sense, or intuit aren't to be our concern, and aren't what we need to follow. The CHIEF THING is God. What does GOD think about what we are thinking, feeling, sensing, how we are acting, what we are intuiting? Is what we have intuited in LINE with the Word of God? Are we getting a sense that the Holy Spirit may be trying to tell us something through our intuitive faculties, or our feelings? We know that sometimes He also speaks to our thoughts... but how do we know the difference?

One way to tell the difference between whether or not something is from the Holy Spirit i to ask, "Who's the father?"

You might be saying, "OK, Harmony... now you've gone off the deep end? Who's the father? What are you talking about? This isn't a paternity test here... it's about where my thoughts, feelings, actions, intuitions, or whatever are coming from."

Exactly. To which I say again, "Who's the father?"

Let me explain!

I was recently reminded that the word DESIRE can be interpreted as OF THE FATHER. and so, one way to have a better understanding of what is happening within us is to say, WHO is the father of this thought? Who is the father of this action, or this intuition? Where is this desire coming from? Who's the father? Is it the devil, or is it the flesh, or is it God the Father?

Am I living from the flesh, and listening to that?

Am I living for God, really and truly, and following what He tells me?

Am I saying one thing, but listening to a little voice inside that tells me to do something else, something that isn't as nice or good or worthy of praise?

Who's the father?

I dare you to find the truth in that!