We need to trust whose shoulders we stand on...
Settle
in for a few moments; grab a cup of tea and sit with me for a while.
This is a somewhat longer post than normal… but I believe it will be
worth your time to read it through…
Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. ~Pythagoras
How many of us really think about who we befriend on a full-on, consistent basis? Do we take stock of our relationships with family and friends on as consistent basis as we do our finances, food stuffs, or resumes? Do we examine the relationship files of our lives and decide what to do based on the facts instead of relying on habit to make our decisions for us?
Sometimes it is important to stop and ask ourselves a few questions:
Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well.
Others suggest that if you’ve had more distress than eustress in the relationship that it is time to really get down to the heart of the matter regarding making a decision.
There are times when neither of these will be easy. If you’re a single parent with only a handful of friends, or a stay-at-home mom whose circle consists of the other neighborhood moms; if your only relationships are with family; if you have to live with someone you don’t get along with for one reason or another, and many other scenarios, it will be a difficult decision to make. Spouses sometimes are abusive and the relationship needs healing if it is to survive and thrive. Other times a spouse isn’t ready, willing or able to change at the time you need things to be different.
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. ~Thomas Carlyle
Isn’t that a wonderful thought? If we begin with love, everything else will fall into place. If we begin with love, we will know what we need to know. If we begin with love… that is what matters. When we begin with love, people are more likely to respect and treat us well, and therefore it is easier to surround ourselves with them. Of course, there will always be haters. That is the way of life… but to love those who hate us, as Jesus taught, is to free ourselves from trying to be liked by all at the same time as allowing others to emulate us and create a better world. If we emulate Jesus, and others emulate us, what kind of impact do you think that will have?
Thinking too well of people often allows them to be better than they otherwise would. ~Nelson Mandela
Another thing… while we are living from a place of love, following in the footsteps of Living Love Himself, and surrounding ourselves with those who respect and treat us well, we can be thinking the very best of all people. If we think the best – better than they can see for themselves - of others, then they are more than likely going to either accept and rise, or decline and drift. This is one way to understand who is best for your life. When we think overly well of others, their character will show through in time… what is that character telling us?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. ~Jonathan Safran Foer
There will always be something imperfect about us and about those in our lives; that is what makes us human. We can’t protect ourselves from all things negative or that appear negative… to do so would rob us of the joy and happiness that we would necessarily also be declining in those efforts.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ~Mother Teresa
This rule of thumb is self-explanatory, I believe… if we are too worried about what others do or don’t do, and the “whys and hows” of their actions, we will miss out on loving them, as Jesus called us to do. If we are judging others by any human yardstick, it is too much judgment. If we can learn to love unconditionally as we journey with others, we will be better for it, and so will the people we choose to have in our lives.
Finally, a reiteration of love: all of these points come back to love. To be loved is wonderful and a dear blessing; it strengthens us beyond measure. To love someone truly and deeply is to be courageous. We cannot love and not do so courageously… hiding from love is a form of fear. This fear can be called many things, from hate to apathy to cowardice, but it boils down to the same thing: fear. And fear doesn’t come from the One Who came down to show us how to walk in love… Jesus was Living Love Himself and will show us the way if we allow Him to.
So, to sum things up...
Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. ~Pythagoras
How many of us really think about who we befriend on a full-on, consistent basis? Do we take stock of our relationships with family and friends on as consistent basis as we do our finances, food stuffs, or resumes? Do we examine the relationship files of our lives and decide what to do based on the facts instead of relying on habit to make our decisions for us?
Sometimes it is important to stop and ask ourselves a few questions:
- · Who should be in my life?
- · Who should be in my circle?
- · Who should be an acquaintance?
- · Who should I make the conscious decision to not have in my life even though they might be wonderful people in their own right?
Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well.
Others suggest that if you’ve had more distress than eustress in the relationship that it is time to really get down to the heart of the matter regarding making a decision.
There are times when neither of these will be easy. If you’re a single parent with only a handful of friends, or a stay-at-home mom whose circle consists of the other neighborhood moms; if your only relationships are with family; if you have to live with someone you don’t get along with for one reason or another, and many other scenarios, it will be a difficult decision to make. Spouses sometimes are abusive and the relationship needs healing if it is to survive and thrive. Other times a spouse isn’t ready, willing or able to change at the time you need things to be different.
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. ~Thomas Carlyle
Isn’t that a wonderful thought? If we begin with love, everything else will fall into place. If we begin with love, we will know what we need to know. If we begin with love… that is what matters. When we begin with love, people are more likely to respect and treat us well, and therefore it is easier to surround ourselves with them. Of course, there will always be haters. That is the way of life… but to love those who hate us, as Jesus taught, is to free ourselves from trying to be liked by all at the same time as allowing others to emulate us and create a better world. If we emulate Jesus, and others emulate us, what kind of impact do you think that will have?
Thinking too well of people often allows them to be better than they otherwise would. ~Nelson Mandela
Another thing… while we are living from a place of love, following in the footsteps of Living Love Himself, and surrounding ourselves with those who respect and treat us well, we can be thinking the very best of all people. If we think the best – better than they can see for themselves - of others, then they are more than likely going to either accept and rise, or decline and drift. This is one way to understand who is best for your life. When we think overly well of others, their character will show through in time… what is that character telling us?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. ~Jonathan Safran Foer
There will always be something imperfect about us and about those in our lives; that is what makes us human. We can’t protect ourselves from all things negative or that appear negative… to do so would rob us of the joy and happiness that we would necessarily also be declining in those efforts.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ~Mother Teresa
This rule of thumb is self-explanatory, I believe… if we are too worried about what others do or don’t do, and the “whys and hows” of their actions, we will miss out on loving them, as Jesus called us to do. If we are judging others by any human yardstick, it is too much judgment. If we can learn to love unconditionally as we journey with others, we will be better for it, and so will the people we choose to have in our lives.
Judging or not judging is a choice. Which will you make?
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao TzuFinally, a reiteration of love: all of these points come back to love. To be loved is wonderful and a dear blessing; it strengthens us beyond measure. To love someone truly and deeply is to be courageous. We cannot love and not do so courageously… hiding from love is a form of fear. This fear can be called many things, from hate to apathy to cowardice, but it boils down to the same thing: fear. And fear doesn’t come from the One Who came down to show us how to walk in love… Jesus was Living Love Himself and will show us the way if we allow Him to.
So, to sum things up...
- Who should be in your life? Love will tell you.
- Who should be an acquaintance rather than part of your inner circle? Love will tell you that, as well.
- Who should you say goodbye to? Love will help your heart to know.
- Love is the answer to most questions one can ask… if you look for the answer from His perspective, you will know the truth which will indeed set you free…
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