May 28, 2013

Lean Into the Pain

Most of us aren't big fans of pain, are we? Even when it is "good" pain, sometimes we shrink back from it because it is either the unknown, or all too familiar and we just don't want to go there. But one thing I've learned is that, no matter what "kind" of pain we are in - emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, relationally - sometimes things get better if we LEAN INTO it instead of trying to avoid it.

We all have things we fear. And fears in a way are a type of pain. If we choose to face our fears with courage, wisdom, and a renewed mind that knows deep down we will not REALLY be hurt by what we are afraid of, we are leaning into the pain, learning from it, growing, and gaining confidence all at once. For EACH time we overcome the urge to run or hide from fears, it becomes easier not to do it. Pretty soon, it will become second nature to be courageous and walk toward what w were once so afraid of. We have leaned in, and we have WON that battle... for each and every fear faced.

Does this mean we will never be afraid again, even of what we once feared? Not necessarily, but it will put things in perspective; it will shift our paradigms and cause us to continue growing.

Another example of leaning into the pain is when it is time to say goodbye to a loved on, for whatever reason. Perhaps we know the reason, but perhaps we don't. Perhaps we were blindsided by the loss, and we have decided to act like the person wasn't ever rely there, or didn't really care. Personally, I believe that once we have TRULY cared about someone, we always will. We may not always be happy with them, or in their lives; we may not always like their actions, or their attitudes. But once we have chosen to care, we will ALWAYS care, and so whether loss has come from death, divorce, losing touch over time, or other reason, there is a grieving that must occur. And that grieving is a leaning into the pain.

Does that mean the loss will always hurt? No. But it also doesn't guarantee it will stop hurting once we have finished grieving, either. Life and love are intertwined and therefore each relationship we have experienced changes us in ways we might not even truly comprehend until much later, if ever.

What about those who are runners? They, too, lean into the pain. As long as they are not physically HURT, the pain is a good thing to the degree that they keep their breathing and pace adjusted.

Where are you being challenged to lean INTO the pain? Where are you sensing God tell you it's time to STRETCH, to GROW, to LEAN IN and courageously take the next step you've been called into? Is it a big step, where things can be broken down into tiny ones, or is it something small and tangible; within your reach, if only you LEANED IN for it?

It takes courage and sometimes it takes some extra effort to lean IN instead of OUT... but in time, leaning IN to the pain, taking the next step, you will arrive at your appointed destination. Trust God, and trust the journey. He has GOD-SIZED DREAMS in store for you to fulfill, if you just choose to continue to LEAN IN, despite whatever the circumstances sound, look, or feel like; no matter the opinion of others, or the manuals you've read that say their way is the only one.. If you trust GOD to help you LEAN IN with courage... soon you realize the sheer joy that comes from the run of your life, and that, in spite - or perhaps because - of your pain, you are more fulfilled because you know you ran with COURAGE.

Apr 15, 2013

The Courage to Live in a Culture of Honor

There is honor, and then there is the CULTURE of honor. I have learned this more than once, but it has not been so clear to me as now. As I get ready to read Danny Silk's book, Culture of Honor, I am excited to learn more about this wonderful and courageous, integrity-filled calling that we have been given. As part of Bethel Church in Redding, California, headed by such leaders as Bill Johnson, Kevin Dedmon, and Kris Vallotton, Danny and his wife, Sheri, are part of a movement that is helping to change America, and the world. That movement is the willingness to live in a CULTURE OF HONOR.

The Houghton-Mifflin American College Dictionary tells us that honor can be a noun, transitive verb, or idiom. To honor is to show one's esteem for another; to give the highest regards to another. It is to live with personal integrity in how we interact with those around us. It is a way of showing respect, recognition of others, dignity, and good reputation.
Photo from WeHeartIt.com
To live in a culture of honor is a RISK. But every time someone has risked greatly with faith, God has been there on the other side, cheering them on. If we think of Moses, Noah, Jesus, John the Baptist, the Apostle Paul, Esther, Ruth, and so many more from the time of the Bible... if we think of people who are risk takers we know personally: missionaries, pastors, prayer warriors, and circle makers of varying other sorts, we know that risk is a component of COURAGE as well as FAITH.

When we honor the people around us, honor ourselves, honor our authenticity, and most importantly, honor GOD, we are living proof that honor CAN be a culture to embrace.

So, clients and readers... there is a challenge here. I look forward to reading this text, very much, and I encourage you if able to do the same. It just may change your whole life perspective and alter the course of your life in a transformational thrust of  God's goodness. I challenge you to learn to live in a culture of HONOR!



Apr 1, 2013

Courage

What exactly is courage? It certainly gets confused with risk-taking and bravado sometimes, but that isn't a good definition, do you think? Courage, I believe, can be defined as "getting one's feet wet, despite being afraid of the water."

Another way to look at this is to take a stair at a time toward the heights of fear, or to step out in faith, like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade, when he is instructed, basically, to jump into thin air. It isn't really that nothing is there... it's that without faith, it cannot be seen. Without courage to take action, faith is mere belief. And I say this not lightly, but to encourage.

Peter stepped out of the boat, and ended up walking on the water. Lepers were healed, blind saw, deaf heard, and dead were raised... and they still can be today. Indiana jumped, and his way appeared. This is where faith meets courage, or action.

Action plus belief, we read, equal true faith. Courage combined with belief. That's faith. Faith takes courage! And both are needed to grow...

As life coaches, as clients, as people with fears, as people who love, we all risk something at some point in order to grow.  If we refuse to move forward, we automatically stagnate, or worse, go backward, and so, in spite of our fears, we take baby steps; sometimes, we leap.

What is courage? It is the hand that holds faith as we walk through life... to help us become all that we can be!

Photo from WeHeartIt.com

Mar 8, 2013

Coming Off Hiatus

I appreciate everyone's patience during this past five months as I was on unexpected hiatus from my blogging here at Kura Kimanna, over at Honeylis Dreaming, and at The Color of Faith. It has been a long and lesson-filled time. I have met people I will never forget; lost people, similarly, who will never be forgotten; become more of who I am, as ever.

So, thank you, again, dear readers. Blogging will resume shortly.

Oct 4, 2012

Coaching in the Dark

Sometimes we have dark days, weeks, months, even years in our lives. While something like therapy or counseling is sometimes a great help, depending on what is going on, life or relationship coaching can also be an asset to someone who senses things are changing in ways they perceive are not conducive to their well being.

We can't change other people; we can't change every circumstance of life, but what we can change is how we interrelate with those around us, our words, actions, and attitudes. We can chose the higher road in the midst of the storm; the positive in the negative field around us. And having a coach can help in that process.

Coaching is about getting from where we are in life to where we need or want to be, to the extent that we do the work. Like a stagecoach of old that carried passengers from one place to another, a coach helps their client find who they really are, what they really want and need, and do so without judgment. While there are similarities to counseling, cheerleading, mentoring, and a lot of other means of communication, coaching utilizes a special set of skills to help create the best possible atmosphere for client learning, growth, and gain of potential. Coaching can help us become more authentically who we are and help us realize things about ourselves we otherwise might not.

So whether life these days is bright or dark, coaching can be beneficial to an overall better life. As a Christian coach, there is no fear of the dark because Christ is the Light that can be brought to any situation, any relationship, any decision.

Jul 12, 2012

Rack Up the RAKs!

It's time to RAK today!

How often do we spread Random Acts of Kindness? Do we share RAK as often as we could? And what is our intent when we share them?

I challenge you today... to rack up the RAKs! How many can you rack up in a week, from the heart?

When I took my Ethics class with Dr. Williams a few years ago, we did an exercise that has stuck with me. We carried around an invisible "clicker," and whenever we said, thought, or acted out of love toward someone, we clicked, and counted them up through the day. The CATCH was that whenever an act, thought, or word was NOT from love, the counter went back to zero on the clicker we were invisibly utilizing.

I still do this exercise today... I aim to do so at least once a quarter to help monitor my attitude and how I am interacting with others, even when they aren't aware of it. And while this might not be an exercise for everyone, it is an interesting concept.

Clicker or not, I challenge you... to spread RAKs this today... this weekend... or even for a week.

Notice how others respond; notice their body language and the way they interact as you interact kindly, from the heart, with them. What's different from your everyday interaction? Do any areas of your life, or relationships, get better? How have they improved? How could they continue to improve?

Jun 6, 2012

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